What stops us from living our dream life?

I recently spent 5 days in Phoenix, AZ going through Brendon Burchard’s High Performance Academy. It was 5 days of intense learning, growing, and self-discovery.

Many topics were covered. Everything from motivation, habits, daily rituals, and more.
One of the key things I got from the event was how FEAR can stop us from pursuing the life that we really want. All of us have goals and dreams, however few people in the world are living the life they dreamed of when they were younger or would really want.

Sure, many people have good jobs, great families, and lots of vacation weeks. All that is great if that’s the life they dreamed of and are truly happy with.

For many, they would like an upgrade to their life or lifestyle. Think about it yourself…

• Do you have your dream job right now?
• Do you aspire to run your own business?
• Are you in the kind of physical shape you want to be in?
• Do you spend the amount of time you would like to with your family or friends?
• Are you earning the kind of money you would like to?
• Do you get to take as many vacations per year as you would like to?

Motivation is a big piece of the puzzle, but we will tackle that in a later article. Let’s talk about what holds us back. In many cases, it’s FEAR. What is FEAR…really?

Most FEAR is bad management of the mind! That’s right. Our minds naturally wander to the negative. There is an immediate assumption of pain. It’s human nature. Don’t get frustrated by it. Instead, understand it and let’s do something about it.

We know there are 3 kinds of FEAR that stop us from taking action toward our dream life.

#1 Area of FEAR is FEAR of Loss.
We fear what we might lose by pursuing the goal. You might lose that consistent pay check and financial stability. You may have to give up that food you love…or alcohol. Perhaps you will have to give up free time to pursue the new dream. Fear of loss of any kind is a real FEAR and it’s natural.

​#2 Area of FEAR is FEAR of the PROCESS
One thing that will stop us in our tracks is the FEAR that the process will be hard. Building the business will be hard, working out consistently will be hard, giving up some of the foods you love will be difficult, etc.

#3 Area of FEAR Is Outcome FEAR.
We are afraid that after all that work, the end result won’t be worth it. Perhaps the dream didn’t work. Maybe it did workout but not the way you thought. Maybe the end result is now more work than what you had before you pursued the goal.

So, what is the strategy? Do we just accept the lives we have, or do we dare try to overcome our FEAR? Luckily, there are strategies that high performers use that allow them to build their dream lives with financial abundance, great health, great relationships, and lots of free time.

Overcome the FEAR of Loss: Focus on what you will gain by pursuing the goal, not what you will lose. Focus on how good you will feel. Think about how happy you will be building your dream business. Think about how proud you will be to finally lose those 30 pounds. Think about the delicious (and healthy) foods you will get to eat.
“If you don’t break the frame of loss, you will never get the gain.”
- Brendon Burchard, author of High Performance Habits

Overcome the FEAR of the Process: Honor the Struggle. Don’t focus on the hardship. High performers embrace the struggle. They honor it. They get excited about climbing the ladder. One thing that we know through research about high performers is they believe in their ability to figure things out. Most people choose a life of distraction (social media) because the struggle to achieve seems too hard. Honor the struggle!

Overcome the FEAR of the Outcome: Focus on how you will be fulfilled by pursuing and achieving the goal. Is working towards this goal going to make you feel good, proud, or fulfilled? Also, high performers focus on how they are contributing to others or giving others’ opportunities by going after the goal. They focus on who they can serve by achieving the goal.

Think about what might be holding you back. Is it a FEAR of loss, FEAR of the process, or a FEAR of the outcome? Is it more than one or all 3?

Believe in your abilities and potential. Focus on what you will gain, honor the struggle, and remember that fulfillment beats the S**T out of FEAR!
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Thank you for being a part of the Elite Force family!