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What Makes Successful People Successful – Part 2
Last month we looked at five strategies and mindsets that successful people have that help them lead the field in their chosen areas. As I mentioned last month, my personal definition of success is waking up every day and liking the things I must do that day. I never want to wake up and dread what I need to do that day. When Maria Shriver was asked what success was to her, she said it was being available and having the time to be the best daughter, mother, and spouse she could be. To put it in perspective her father, Sargent Shriver, started the Peace Corps and her mother, Eunice Kennedy Shriver, started the Special Olympics. So, everyone’s definition of success is different. What is yours? What do you consider true success? Success Trait #6: They have an obsessive and constant pursuit of better There is an old Japanese term, Kaizen, that stands for Constant and Never-ending Improvement. They are constantly looking for new and better ways to do their jobs, achieve their goals, and make an impact. Author Darren Hardy teaches business owners to ask the bigger/easier question. How can we get bigger and do it easier? That thought process will get you to think, grow, and improve what you are doing to achieve better results, make more impact and do it with less effort. Success Trait #7: Steadfast consistency Successful people are incredibly consistent with their schedules, habits, and routines. In our martial arts schools we teach, “Habits we train are habits we gain.” Meaning, whatever habits you practice day in and day out will determine your level of success. Good habits are hard to develop and easy to live with while bad habits are easy to develop but hard to live with. Successful people are consistent with the hours they work, the days they read/study, and the days they exercise. Their daily routines are set in stone because they work and create great results. Success Trait #8: Power tribe Successful people are diligent about the company they keep. They make sure they are surrounded by people that are cooperative, positive, and supportive. There is no room for complainers, naysayers, and whiners with successful people. The late-great author, Charlie “Tremendous” Jones says, “You will be the same person in 5 years that you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.” What he is saying is the people you surround yourself with have a big impact on your level of success. If you hang around with successful people, you will become more successful. If you hang around with people who watch the news 24/7 and complain about it, you will become that too. Napoleon Hill introduced the concept of Mastermind groups in his book “Think and Grow Rich”. This is when a group of like-minded people get together and brainstorm ways for them all to do better and be more successful. This is a Power Tribe. Success Trait #9: Consummate learners Successful people make learning and growing a top priority. They understand the saying, “When the tree stops growing, it begins to die”. They are ferocious readers. As the saying goes, “All great leaders are great readers.” They also learn and grow when other people are filling their minds with garbage. For example, many successful people I know turn their cars into a “university on wheels”. They listen to audio programs/audiobooks that instruct and inspire them. The average American drives 12,000 miles per year. Experts say that if you turn driving time into learning time, you will get the equivalent of two semesters in college every year. That means that every four years you would be earning another advanced college degree. Successful people do just that! Success Trait #10: Unshakeable resolve Successful people are unyielding in the pursuit of their goals and dreams. Of course, they deal with challenges and obstacles, but to them, it is simply part of the process of achievement. They don’t get discouraged, angry, or distracted. They keep their eye on the prize. They focus on their target goal and the vision they have created, and they keep moving forward. Like Rocky Balboa said, “It’s not how hard you hit. It’s how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!” So true! There you have it! The ten traits of the ultra-successful. I hope you enjoyed these two articles and got inspired to take action and make your dreams and goals come to fruition. Success can be defined in a number of ways. True success is different from person to person. Some might include earning a certain amount of money or having a certain size house. Others may think success is being famous or influential. Freedom from monotonous or boring tasks could be considered success.
My person definition of success waking up every day and liking the things I must do that day. I don’t want to dread any of the activities in the day that lies ahead. Fortunately, most days I truly look forward to, and I get to do what I love for a living. What do you consider success? How would you define it? Recently, success mentor and best-selling author, Darren Hardy, laid out the top 10 traits of successful people. This month we will lay out the first 5 and next month we will lay out the second 5. Success Trait #1: Relentless Drive Successful people and top achievers have an insatiable appetite to win. They will put in hours of hard work, preparation, and planning to make sure they are ready to perform at their best when needed. The late, great Kobe Bryant had a legendary drive. His trainer talks about many times where Kobe would tell him to meet him at 5:00 in the morning to do some strength and conditioning work. When the trainer arrived, Kobe was drenched in sweat. He had been working out since 4:00 in the morning. After the strength and conditioning workout, Kobe told his trainer he was going to practice his jump shot and wouldn’t stop until he made 800 shots! After all that, Kobe went to practice with the team. That is relentless drive! Success Trait #2: Supersized Thinking By now most people know that the McDonald brothers founded McDonald’s restaurant. They came up with the “speedy service” system and had a very successful operation in California. Ray Kroc was a milk shake machine salesman and approached the McDonald brothers to buy his machines. When Kroc saw the operation, he knew this could be a worldwide business that would be massively successful. The McDonald brothers, on the other hand, preferred to keep tight control over their system and not expand the operation. After much pleading and negotiating, Kroc convinced the brothers to allow him to build the franchise to what it is today. Ray Kroc had a supersized vision and acted on it! Success Trait #3: They Find Massive Leverage Successful people find ways to make themselves act disciplined when they don’t want to. After all, they are human too! Former Navy Seal, author, and speaker, Jocko Willink wakes up at 4:30 every morning and posts a picture of his watch on Twitter and Instagram to show everyone that he continues to be disciplined by waking up early and working out. He has leverage on himself by having to post that picture early every morning, and his millions of followers expect it from him. That is massive leverage! Success Trait #4: They Maintain a Maniacal Focus Successful people always have their goals and objectives in their sights. Author and speaker, Brian Tracy has a famous quote, “Clarity is power!” Paul J. Meyer says, “If you are not making the progress you would like to make or are capable of making, it simply means your goals are not clearly defined.” Writing and re-writing your goals every day, creating vision boards, and posting your goals in writing where you will see them multiple times throughout your day are all great ways to keep your goals on the forefront of your mind. My good friend and best-selling author, Jeffrey Gitomer writes his goals on “Post It” notes and posts them on his bathroom mirror. When he achieves the goal, he moves it to his bedroom mirror. This way he is reminded of what goals he wants to achieve and what goals he has achieved. I bet that makes him feel pretty good! Success Trait #5: Unrelenting Resiliency Winston Churchill’s famous quote is, “Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never – in nothing, great or small, large, or petty – never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.” On March 17, 1990, WBC World Champion, Julio Cesar Chavez fought IBF World Champion, Meldrick Taylor. Chavez was unbeaten currently with a record of 68-0 with 55 KO’s. Taylor’s hand speed and superb footwork were too much for Chavez, and he was ahead on the scorecards heading into the final round. Chavez was being outpointed but stay resilient and continued to move forward throwing hard punches. Chavez never wavered or got discouraged, and with only 2 seconds left in the fight, he landed a right hand and knocked out Taylor. Most people would be mentally beaten and discouraged after losing virtually the entire fight. Not Chavez though. He stayed focused, resilient, and believed he could win the fight when most thought it was impossible. That is unrelenting resiliency! Stay tuned next month for the remaining 5 traits that make successful people successful! I started teaching martial arts when I was 15 years old. I knew when I started that job that this is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I loved the energy, the people, and all the life lessons that I learned.
My instructor always told his staff, “Don’t focus on where a student starts, focus on what they can become with time and training.” What he was saying was don’t focus on all the challenges a student has. There may be many. They may be overweight, uncoordinated, terribly shy, fearful, and more. Where they start is not really important. What is important is what they can become with coaching, encouragement, and training. It doesn’t matter what limitations they have, challenges they have to overcome, or any other issue. When we focus on what they are capable of, when we focus on their potential, it totally shifts your mindset. You start focusing on all their good attributes. You start to be a good-finder, and you see all their strengths and positive qualities that you can build upon. This mindset has helped us see so many transformations in our students. There have been hundred over the years. I remember a student who enrolled in about 2006, just a few years after we had opened. His father brought him in to become more confident, stronger, and more athletic. This young man was about 12 or 13 years old. His first class was rough! He was like a fish out of water. He had a hard time learning because he lacked coordination and was incredibly unconfident. His dad asked me point blank, “Do you think he will be able to do this?” I gave hm the same advice that my instructor gave me. Never focus on where they start, focus on what they can become. I assured his dad that it wasn’t going to happen in a day – that it would happen day by day with lots of training, encouragement, reminders, and repetition. The best thing about this kid was he wanted to be good. He showed up to the dojo 3 days per week with a great attitude. Little by little we saw his skill level improve, his confidence inched up month by month, and he was having fun. Five years later, this young man earned his Black Belt, and his parents were ecstatic! Their once shy, uncoordinated son became a Black Belt Champion with confidence that he could achieve any goal he set for himself. Years later, he is now a Police Officer with the Broward County Sherriff’s office, he is married, and has two kids. It’s easy to focus on people’s shortcoming and negative qualities. It’s easy to write people off in the beginning, however when you focus on what positive qualities you can build on, progress starts to happen. Year ago, the gold miners were searching for gold. They weren’t looking for dirt. That was easy. They stayed focused on finding the gold, and eventually they did. Sensei James Hons is a full-time instructor at Elite Force Martial Arts. He is currently in training for his 4th degree Black Belt, and in 2015 he became the US Open Grand Champion. It was his first time competing. When he started training with us, he was a shy, unconfident kid who would not look me in the eyes. He starred at the floor when talking to me. His dad was a very militant, hard-nosed person, and he wanted his son to introduce himself to others with confidence. I shared this philosophy with his dad, and now more than 13 years later, he could not be prouder of his son. Are you a parent? Employer? Boss? Leader? Coach? If so, you have the unique privilege to coach and influence people under you. You may have the next superstar in your organization. That person may not know it yet, but if you look closely enough, you will be able to see tons of untapped potential waiting to come out. I have always loved the book, “The Little Engine That Could”. That book is not just a kids’ book. It is a philosophy for life! Teach the people under you to think like that, encourage them, praise progress, gently correct errors, and you will be amazed with the results!  Comparison is the Killer of Joy
I first heard this quote when I went to the Growth Summit in 2018 with my good friend, Mark Moore. Rachel Hollis was one of the speakers. Rachel is a best-selling author, and one of her books entitled, “Girl, Stop Apologizing” has sold over 1.5 million copies. Rachel talked heavily about how comparing yourself to others can be detrimental to your success. She said, “Comparison is the killer of joy.” She is so right! Most people focus on what they don’t have. They see people on social media posting about buying a new house, getting married, going on these luxurious vacations, and going on and on about the great things in their life. And while a part of them is happy for other people’s success, another part gets jealous, frustrated, and depressed because they may not have those things. I have heard people say that scrolling Facebook or Instagram can make them feel sad because they immediately think about what they don’t have in their life. Melissa and I attend The Cross Church in Deerfield Beach. The other day, Pastor Tommy Boland, was talking about how there are two kinds of pride. The positive pride is feeling great about your family, your achievements, and the life you have built. The sin of pride is comparing yourself to others. He said it is wrong, and the constant comparisons can lead you down a dark road of depression and sadness. Let’s get this out on the table. Social media is a highlight reel of people’s lives. No one is living the perfect life free from frustrations, problems, and challenges. Do many people post about their problems? Of course not! They show all the great things! They show the amazing business they built, the new house they just bought, the new car they just got, the new, incredibly loving relationship they are in, etc. It is an overview of the positives in their life. Should we allow what others have or don’t have influence our self-esteem? Hell no! And while we know this logically, emotionally it can be hard. How can we live our best life and stop comparing ourselves and our lives to others? Here are a few ideas. Strategy #1: Focus on what you do have! Tony Robbins says when you ask better questions, you get better answers. So, ask yourself, “What do I love about my life? What am I most proud of? What do I have that I am incredibly grateful for?” Asking the right questions will get you to focus on all the blessings, victories, and achievements that you already have. Tony also says that progress is the key to happiness in life. When we are seeing and feeling progress in our lives, we feel happier and more joyful. Focus on the areas of your life that are moving in the right direction. I’m sure when you really look, you will see just how truly wealthy you already are! Strategy #2: Cut back on social media! I once read that you can either spend your time living your life, or you can waste your time by observing other people’ lives. I love social media because we can reach an enormous amount of people very quickly. It’s never been easier to stay in touch with friends, family members, and loved ones. As a business owner, Facebook and Instagram allow Elite Force Martial Arts to connect with people in our community for little money, and it brings new students in the front door, and it motivates old students to start training again. There are a ton of positives, however if you feel bad, sad, or depressed when scrolling because you are comparing your life to someone else’s, cut back immediately! Rachel Hollis told the crowd in Arizona that she posts on social media for business, but that is it. She does not scroll to see what others are up to. She said that when she did, she would naturally start comparing herself to others and that lead to intense anxiety, so she stopped. And for the record, she has over 1.6 million followers on Instagram. Strategy #3: Journal your feelings I don’t believe that ignoring certain recurring thoughts will make them go away. Maybe that works for some people, and if it does, good for you. I have found that writing down how I feel and the circumstance around my feelings helps me to clarify my emotional state and helps me to proactively deal with those emotions. Sometimes just putting the feelings on paper can feel like a weight has been lifted. Try it! I hope it works for you!  I first heard this quote when I went to the Growth Summit in 2018 with my good friend, Mark Moore. Rachel Hollis was one of the speakers. Rachel is a best-selling author, and one of her books entitled, “Girl, Stop Apologizing” has sold over 1.5 million copies.
Rachel talked heavily about how comparing yourself to others can be detrimental to your success. She said, “Comparison is the killer of joy.” She is so right! Most people focus on what they don’t have. They see people on social media posting about buying a new house, getting married, going on these luxurious vacations, and going on and on about the great things in their life. And while a part of them is happy for other people’s success, another part gets jealous, frustrated, and depressed because they may not have those things. I have heard people say that scrolling Facebook or Instagram can make them feel sad because they immediately think about what they don’t have in their life. Melissa and I attend The Cross Church in Deerfield Beach. The other day, Pastor Tommy Boland, was talking about how there are two kinds of pride. The positive pride is feeling great about your family, your achievements, and the life you have built. The sin of pride is comparing yourself to others. He said it is wrong, and the constant comparisons can lead you down a dark road of depression and sadness. Let’s get this out on the table. Social media is a highlight reel of people’s lives. No one is living the perfect life free from frustrations, problems, and challenges. Do many people post about their problems? Of course not! They show all the great things! They show the amazing business they built, the new house they just bought, the new car they just got, the new, incredibly loving relationship they are in, etc. It is an overview of the positives in their life. Should we allow what others have or don’t have influence our self-esteem? Hell no! And while we know this logically, emotionally it can be hard. How can we live our best life and stop comparing ourselves and our lives to others? Here are a few ideas. Strategy #1: Focus on what you do have! Tony Robbins says when you ask better questions, you get better answers. So, ask yourself, “What do I love about my life? What am I most proud of? What do I have that I am incredibly grateful for?” Asking the right questions will get you to focus on all the blessings, victories, and achievements that you already have. Tony also says that progress is the key to happiness in life. When we are seeing and feeling progress in our lives, we feel happier and more joyful. Focus on the areas of your life that are moving in the right direction. I’m sure when you really look, you will see just how truly wealthy you already are! Strategy #2: Cut back on social media! I once read that you can either spend your time living your life, or you can waste your time by observing other people’ lives. I love social media because we can reach an enormous amount of people very quickly. It’s never been easier to stay in touch with friends, family members, and loved ones. As a business owner, Facebook and Instagram allow Elite Force Martial Arts to connect with people in our community for little money, and it brings new students in the front door, and it motivates old students to start training again. There are a ton of positives, however if you feel bad, sad, or depressed when scrolling because you are comparing your life to someone else’s, cut back immediately! Rachel Hollis told the crowd in Arizona that she posts on social media for business, but that is it. She does not scroll to see what others are up to. She said that when she did, she would naturally start comparing herself to others and that lead to intense anxiety, so she stopped. And for the record, she has over 1.6 million followers on Instagram. Strategy #3: Journal your feelings I don’t believe that ignoring certain recurring thoughts will make them go away. Maybe that works for some people, and if it does, good for you. I have found that writing down how I feel and the circumstance around my feelings helps me to clarify my emotional state and helps me to proactively deal with those emotions. Sometimes just putting the feelings on paper can feel like a weight has been lifted. Try it! I hope it works for you!  We are all hoping for a strong year in 2021. Last year caught us all off guard. Many people saw their incomes get reduced, businesses were shutdown, stress and anxiety increased, and, sadly, many people died.
As we look forward into 2021, we know we have to be more focused, more disciplined, and have great clarity on our goals to win big. We will need to take massive action to realize the massive results we are all craving for. To reach that level of success, we will need an abundance of physical, mental, and emotional energy. We have all seen young children and puppies run around with a seemingly endless supply of energy, however it seems to dwindle as we get older. How do we get it back? How can we generate ample energy to achieve our goals and enjoy the process? Author Brendon Burchard conducted an in-depth study of high performers to determine how they reached their goals. He studied what actions they took and what strategies they utilized to optimize their health and energy. What he found were a few key actions that allowed these achievers to win in life and have plenty of energy left over to enjoy their hobbies, have ample family time, and enjoy the process. Strategy #1: Release Tension, Set Intention High performers have brief pauses in between activities to take a break, refocus their thoughts and recapture their energy, so they are able to work at a high level. They stop, close their eyes, breathe deeply, and focus on releasing any negativity they are feeling. They focus their thoughts on their next task and doing it with excellence and ease. They set a clear intention on their next activity and visualize themselves doing it at a world class level. Strategy #2: Bring the Joy Oprah Winfrey has a sign up in her office and her boardroom that says, “You are responsible for the energy you bring into this room.” What she is saying is, be intentional about being positive, optimistic, and happy. Top performers are intentional about being positive, friendly, and joyful. They don’t wait around and hope something happens to put them in a good mood. They intentionally bring the joy in everything they do. It’s no wonder everyone loves being around them! High performers are intentional about consuming positive information. They read inspirational books, listen to instructional podcasts, and surround themselves with good natured, successful, and happy people. What do they do when dealing with obstacles? They honor the struggle and continue to bring the joy! They ask themselves empowering questions that generate positive emotions. They set triggers to remind themselves to be positive and grateful. For example, every time they enter a room, they remind themselves to be the most joyful person in the room and to compliment someone else. Strategy #3: Optimize Your Health High performers set themselves up for success. They sleep 7-8 hours every night, and they drink plenty of water (a minimum of half your body weight in ounces). They also eat lots of greens and exercise every day. I’ve never met a person that said they wish they had less energy. I have heard people say they wish they had more. Try these strategies for a couple weeks and watch your energy, emotions, and attitude rise like the sun in the morning! Remember, massive action leads to massive results!  New Year => New Habits => New/Better Results
2020 is in the rear-view mirror, and we are in high gear working to make 2021 a much better year. Most people that make New Year’s resolutions never actually make the changes or improvements. In fact, only 4% of people that set New Year’s resolutions stick to them and make the changes. Yet, we hear of some people making changes and achieve great results. I just read that New Year’s marks 4 years of sobriety for actress, Rumor Willis. Comedian and game show host, Drew Carrey, stopped drinking, started exercising, changed his diet, and lost nearly 100 pounds some years ago. So, how do some people do it while others continue to struggle and slide along laterally? Is it just doubling down on your will power? No way! There was a study about willpower. Two groups of people were given an unsolvable problem to work on. One group was given a plate of warm, freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, and were told not to eat them until after they finished the problem. The other group was given a plate of radishes and were told to not eat them until they were done with the problem. Needless to say, that wasn’t too hard to do! The group that had to have the willpower to not eat the chocolate chip cookies only worked on the problem for 9 minutes before giving up. The group that was told to not eat the plate of radishes worked on the problem for over 20 minutes. So, clearly will power tires you out and fades with time! The answer lies in changing your habits. Did you know that 90% of everything we do is based on our habits? Let’s talk about some strategies to change your habits this year so you can create better results, achieve your goals, and live the life you want to. Strategy #1: Make it Easy! If you want to start exercising first thing in the morning, set yourself up for success. Lay out your clothes and sneakers out the night before, so right when you get up, everything you need is right there. If you don’t do this, it’s too easy to talk yourself out of taking action. If you want to read more, layout your book on your reading chair so you can’t miss it. Do you want to practice guitar more frequently? Pull the guitar out of the case and set it up where you want to practice. We are all lazy! It’s human nature. Set yourself up for success in advance, and it will be much easier to follow through consistently. Strategy #2: Replace it! One of the best ways to change your habits is to swop a bad habit for another one. For example, you can swap out drinking soda with sparkling water. Most of the time, you want the bubbles in your drink. Do you want to stop snacking on chips late at night? Swop out the chips for carrot sticks. It’s the same crunching sensation! You can swop out drinking alcohol with sparkling water mixed with cranberry juice. Swop out beer for non-alcoholic beer. Strategy #3: Focus on Addition, Not Subtraction! When Montel Williams was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, he had to make changes to his diet. He had to give up foods that he loved, like steak and potatoes. Instead of focusing on what he could no longer have, he focused on what he got to add into his diet. He focused on adding in delicious salmon with a large, flavorful salad. He got excited about some of the new foods he got to eat that he liked. Focus on what you get to add in! Strategy #4: Bet on Yourself and Make the Penalties of Failure Sting! This is a powerful strategy. Find an accountability partner and tell them your goal. Then make a commitment that you will write a check to a person or an organization that you hate if you fail. Tell your accountability partner that they cannot listen to any stories or excuses of why you did not follow through. It’s all about results. If you hit the goal, you keep the money. If you fail, they send in your money to that person or organization that you hate! Make sure you give them the check at the beginning, so there is no backing out! 2021 can be an amazing year! Decide on your 3 big goals, identify what habits you need to add in, change, or eliminate, and watch the success and victories come rolling in! Happy new year! Shihan Craig Haley  I recently spent 5 days in Phoenix, AZ going through Brendon Burchard’s High Performance Academy. It was 5 days of intense learning, growing, and self-discovery.
Many topics were covered. Everything from motivation, habits, daily rituals, and more. One of the key things I got from the event was how FEAR can stop us from pursuing the life that we really want. All of us have goals and dreams, however few people in the world are living the life they dreamed of when they were younger or would really want. Sure, many people have good jobs, great families, and lots of vacation weeks. All that is great if that’s the life they dreamed of and are truly happy with. For many, they would like an upgrade to their life or lifestyle. Think about it yourself…
Motivation is a big piece of the puzzle, but we will tackle that in a later article. Let’s talk about what holds us back. In many cases, it’s FEAR. What is FEAR…really? Most FEAR is bad management of the mind! That’s right. Our minds naturally wander to the negative. There is an immediate assumption of pain. It’s human nature. Don’t get frustrated by it. Instead, understand it and let’s do something about it. We know there are 3 kinds of FEAR that stop us from taking action toward our dream life. #1 Area of FEAR is FEAR of Loss. We fear what we might lose by pursuing the goal. You might lose that consistent pay check and financial stability. You may have to give up that food you love…or alcohol. Perhaps you will have to give up free time to pursue the new dream. Fear of loss of any kind is a real FEAR and it’s natural. #2 Area of FEAR is FEAR of the PROCESS One thing that will stop us in our tracks is the FEAR that the process will be hard. Building the business will be hard, working out consistently will be hard, giving up some of the foods you love will be difficult, etc. #3 Area of FEAR Is Outcome FEAR. We are afraid that after all that work, the end result won’t be worth it. Perhaps the dream didn’t work. Maybe it did workout but not the way you thought. Maybe the end result is now more work than what you had before you pursued the goal. So, what is the strategy? Do we just accept the lives we have, or do we dare try to overcome our FEAR? Luckily, there are strategies that high performers use that allow them to build their dream lives with financial abundance, great health, great relationships, and lots of free time. Overcome the FEAR of Loss: Focus on what you will gain by pursuing the goal, not what you will lose. Focus on how good you will feel. Think about how happy you will be building your dream business. Think about how proud you will be to finally lose those 30 pounds. Think about the delicious (and healthy) foods you will get to eat. “If you don’t break the frame of loss, you will never get the gain.” - Brendon Burchard, author of High Performance Habits Overcome the FEAR of the Process: Honor the Struggle. Don’t focus on the hardship. High performers embrace the struggle. They honor it. They get excited about climbing the ladder. One thing that we know through research about high performers is they believe in their ability to figure things out. Most people choose a life of distraction (social media) because the struggle to achieve seems too hard. Honor the struggle! Overcome the FEAR of the Outcome: Focus on how you will be fulfilled by pursuing and achieving the goal. Is working towards this goal going to make you feel good, proud, or fulfilled? Also, high performers focus on how they are contributing to others or giving others’ opportunities by going after the goal. They focus on who they can serve by achieving the goal. Think about what might be holding you back. Is it a FEAR of loss, FEAR of the process, or a FEAR of the outcome? Is it more than one or all 3? Believe in your abilities and potential. Focus on what you will gain, honor the struggle, and remember that fulfillment beats the S**T out of FEAR! Thank you for being a part of the Elite Force family!  We all know a person in our lives that cannot stop talking about their problems, challenges, injuries, health concerns, relationship troubles, and much more. They come in and immediately put the focus on them and their tale of woe.
Be honest…do you like being around these people? I’m sure some of them are good friends and you want to help them out. You want to be a good person and listen to them, be a shoulder to cry on, and possibly even offer suggestions. Does that ever help? More than likely, the answer is no! In my experience, this gives them the green light to complain more, sulk more, and put all their troubles on your lap. The reality is complaining is a way of getting attention. They have something to say and they want you to agree that they have it so much rougher than the rest of the world. What if that person accepted 100% responsibility for the position they are in. What if they accepted they are in a tough spot, whether it was their fault or not, and decided they are going to make the best of it with a great attitude. Mike Smith was the head coach of the Atlanta Falcons from 2008 to 2014. In his book, “You Win in the Locker Room First”, he talks about installing a NO COMPLAINING POLICY. Smith says people that complain are energy vampires and will drag a team down. Be careful who you surround yourself with because they may influence your attitude in a bad way and make it difficult for you to achieve your goals. Nelson Mandela was arrested and put in prison for 27 years. Did you ever hear him complain while serving his sentence or after he got out? The answer is NO! When asked what he was doing while serving out his sentence, he said he was preparing. WOW! Now that is a great attitude! The Swahili term “hakuna matata”, means no worries. What if, instead of complaining, your knee jerk reaction was, “No worries!”? You think to yourself, “I’ve got this. Yeah, it’s a minor inconvenience, but I will make it through. No worries!” Tony Robbins says your life will completely change when you trade your expectations for appreciation. So instead of thinking everything should go smoothly for you and there should be no trouble in your life. Focus on everything you have to appreciate and be thankful for. Think about it. I have a wonderful family, great wife, awesome little girl, and I work with an incredible team. I have said it again and again. The best people in all of South Florida train at Elite Force Martial Arts. And lucky me…I get to see them 6 days per week! So first I challenge you to go one week with no complaining. Discipline yourself. Sure, it will be tough. Writing this reminds me not to complain! Put an alarm reminder in your phone that says, “trade expectations for appreciation” and have it go off 3 times per day. This will serve as a gentle reminder to focus on gratitude and eliminate complaining. Complaining drains energy. Appreciation enhances energy and puts you in a great mood. Train hard, be your best, and make someone feel great today! We all experience pain, discomfort, disappointment, and frustrations. That difficulty is an opportunity to get stronger, to develop character, to gain a new perspective. Anybody can fall apart; anybody can get bitter—that’s easy. But what that’s doing is wasting your pain. That pain is not there to stop you; it’s there to develop you, to prepare you, to increase you. In 1982, researchers aboard the space shuttle Columbia did an experiment with honeybees. They took them up into space to study the effects of weightlessness on them. According to a NASA memo, the bees “were unable to fly normally and tumbled into weightlessness.” Then it was reported that “the bees have all gotten stationary.” The bees did not have to use their wings, did not have to exert any effort, did not have any resistance. They just floated around. Later they all died. They may have loved having it easy, having no adversity, but they weren’t created for that. You might say that they enjoyed the ride, but they died. We need life’s challenges, struggles, and hardships. They make us better. Don’t just go through the challenge. Grow through it. Learn the lesson, develop the new mindset, improve your skills, and you will come out stronger on the other side!  |
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