![]() Two Powerful Lessons from Pops I remember this like it was yesterday. I had just been hired at the local martial arts school where I trained to be a part-time instructor. I was 15 years old. I was hired to teach 3 days week and my hourly wage at the time was $4.25/hour. Of course, this was back in 1992. I was thrilled! I was going to get paid to teach martial arts…something I was happy doing for free. Side note: I still feel that way today! Teaching martial arts is my dream job and I count my blessing every day I get to do it for a living. Back to the message. The next morning, I was in the kitchen, getting my breakfast ready when my dad told me he wanted to talk to me. He sat me down and gave me a talk that has stuck with me ever since. He told me that the school I worked for was counting on me to be there to work certain days and I had to take that responsibility seriously. He told me never to slack off and make some B.S. excuse about why I couldn’t go to work one day. My dad is a very gruff, to the point, kind of guy. He doesn’t know how to sugar coat anything! He drilled into me that being “kind of” sick or “not feeling that well” was not a reason to not show up to work. “They hired you. They are counting on you, and you have a responsibility to be there to do your job.” I got the message loud and clear, and the reason the message sunk in was because my dad lived by that philosophy himself. He never called in sick or ditched work because he was up too late the night before. It just didn’t happen. I can hardly remember him not going to work. He lead by example. He walked his talk, and I saw it. Message received Pops! Now for the second message he gave me that morning that continues to impact me to this day. He said, “Craig, you are making your own money now. We aren’t rich people, so when you need or want something…you can pay for it yourself.” Funny thing, I didn’t think that my dad was being hard on me. Him and my mom were hard workers. They worked hard every day at their jobs and then worked hard on the house during the weekends. They weren’t lazy. They were responsible people. My dad’s talk taught me the value of money and how important it was to spend it wisely. If I wasted it, I wasn’t going to have the funds to buy what I needed later. Great lesson! Thanks dad! My good buddy and training partner, Bill Storm, says all the time that “old school is good school.” He’s right. These are a couple of old school messages that some may say are too hard or too over the top for a 15-year-old. I disagree. They have made me the person that I am, and I am grateful for it. I don’t think we should ever get away from strengthening the work ethic of today’s youth. We all need to increase our responsibility and be held accountable so we can reach our true potential. This mindset instills discipline. By the way, the root word of “discipline” is “disciple”, which means to teach. So, by instilling this philosophy in our kids, we are teaching them responsibility. We are teaching them the skills, habits, and mindset to be successful adults later in life. My father recently passed away, and I have been reflecting on how much he influenced the person I have become. I am incredibly grateful for the guidance, mentorship, and encouragement he gave me. Work ethic and don’t be foolish with your money. Got it Pops! Thanks! We are approaching our 19th year in business as Elite Force Martial Arts. We opened on June 1st, 2003. Back then I was an eager 26-year-old kid who had a dream of being successful.
Fortunately, I had a mentor that gave me some very good advice. One of the best things he ever encouraged me to do was to commit to personal development. He influenced me to read for 30-minutes per day when I wake up in the morning and to listen to inspiring/instructional audio programs every chance I got. This advice changed my life! It was back in 2005 that I came across best-selling author, Robert Kyosaki, talk about the two most important skills that you must have. I have to admit that they were much different than I thought they would be. Kyosaki said that as long as you master these two skills, you will always do well regardless of what industry you are in or what stage the economy was in. I was all ears! What is the first one? The first one is having the ability to sell. I’ll bet that is not what you thought he might say, but it is true. The reality is we are all in sales. Parents sell their kids on developing good habits, doing their homework, and being kind to others. Doctors and people in the fitness industry sell you on taking care of your health and exercising regularly. Your Pastor, Priest, or Rabbi sell you on the idea of living a spiritual life. I have a mentor who is a 15-time best-selling author. In fact, he wrote the best-selling book on sales of all time, called “The Little Red Book of Selling”. He says that in order to sell effectively, you must be of help to the person you are working with. That’s right – you can take out the word “sell” and replace it with the word “help”. In order to sell effectively, you must be helping the other person. Selling is nothing more than influence. You are influencing another person to take an action, or in some cases, not to take a certain action. In the dojo, we influence kids to be respectful, disciplined, and focused. We sell people on the idea of eating the right foods, training regularly, and giving their best effort. Our intentions are to help them grow to the next level. Think of some of the most successful people and companies that you can think of. Maybe it is Apple, Starbucks, or Google. They influence you to use their products because they add value to your day and life. They make your day and life better. Best-selling author and speaker, Dean Graziosi, says this about selling. He said if you love your product or service and it truly helps people, you have a moral obligation to help people get involved in it because it will make their life better, easier, and more enjoyable. If it does not do that, you should not be selling anything because that would be lying and manipulative. The reality is that everyone is in sales, and if you are truly adding massive value to people’s lives, then you should get out there and influence people into action. What is the 2nd most important skill? Managing money! That’s right! Once you get some money, you have to be great at knowing how to look after it. The public schools do not teach anything on this topic. They don’t teach kids how to balance a checkbook, how to pay themselves first, or make emergency plans if they deal with a financial crisis. Every year, people spend massive amounts of money on gifts for the holidays. They get excited, and in many cases, exceed their budgets, leaving them with massive amounts of credit card debit. Instead of entering in the New Year with a renewed excitement for what is possible in the coming year, they enter into the New Year with higher levels of stress, worry, and anxiety because they have too much month at the end of their money. How much more enjoyable would the holidays be if everyone put a small amount of money aside from each paycheck to pay for holiday gifts? What would happen if everyone adapted the idea of “pay yourself first” and they had money set aside for unexpected bills, emergencies, and savings for retirement? I’ll bet their stress levels would drop drastically! Suzie Orman is a best-selling author on money management, and she says that everyone should have an emergency fund set aside of 8 months of expenses in case of an emergency, such as job loss, injury, etc. Money is certainly not the most important thing in the world, but it is right up there with air. You need it to survive. Why not learn how to manage it to make your life easier and better?!?! If you want to learn more about these skills, check out Jeffrey Gitomer and Dean Graziosi to learn about how to sell the right way. If you want to learn more about managing money, check out T. Harv Eker and Suzie Orman. I’m not an expert, however, I have learned a lot from their writings and trainings. As Jim Rohn says, success is not something you pursue. It is something you attract by becoming an attractive person. Learning, applying, and growing will help you become that person! There comes a point in everyone’s life where we have to make a tough decision. Tough decisions are part of life, especially when you are trying to reach big goals, make a huge impact, and reach your potential.
Think back to when you were perplexed about a decision. Maybe it was about starting a business, investing in a business, moving, buying or selling your house, changing your kids’ school, etc. In the legendary personal development book, “Think and Grow Rich”, author Napoleon Hill says that high achievers make decisions quickly and change them slowly. Most people procrastinate on making tough decisions because they are hard! They keep putting off the decision and they end up doing nothing, which in most cases, is the worst thing to do. High achievers make the best decision they can, and if it was the wrong one, they change it. The key in this process is they decide quickly! They decide and start moving forward, and if they were wrong, they quickly change the decision and get back to work. 99 times out of 100, they still end up making more progress than the person that procrastinated on deciding. Now, I understand that this sounds good on paper, however, none of us want to make the wrong choice that could cost us money, time, and embarrassment. So, how do you make these decisions and know you are making the right decision for yourself? What I am about to share with you saved me $300,000! That’s right…$300,000! So, please pay attention! If you know me, you know I am addicted to personal development. I read 2-4 books per month, and I am always listening to audio programs or podcasts in my NET time, which is “No Extra Time”. By the way, NET time is when your body is busy but your mind is not. That could be when you are driving, working out, walking the dog, doing laundry, folding laundry, cleaning the house, etc. One of my favorite programs is a course called “Insane Productivity” by Darren Hardy. In that course he has you identify your core values. Your core values are fundamental beliefs and guiding principles that help you determine right from wrong. We were given a PDF document with a list of hundreds of core values, and through a process of whittling down which ones mean the most to you personally, you determine your top 3 core values. Those core values will serve as a beacon as you navigate through life and make tough decisions. In the course, Darren talks about struggling to decide whether to invest in this gourmet burger business that he was presented with. In the end, he chose not to because investing in a business that is promoting unhealthy foods was not in alignment with his core values. What’s important is that weighing the choice against his core values made the decision very easy. After doing the exercise, I determined that my core values are: Success - Growth - Contribution. Fast forward to the end of 2019. I was given the opportunity to invest in this very successful local pizza restaurant in Upstate New York that has been operating very profitably since the early 1980’s. My cousin is the manager of the restaurant, Avicolli’s, and the owner was ready to retire. My cousin wanted to buy the business. The owner was asking for $400,000 down in the deal. My cousin had raised $100,000 and was coming to me for the balance. They sent me all the financial information, and I have to say that the numbers were very good. This was a well-run, very profitable business. If I invested, I was going to make a handsome return. I deliberated on this for several weeks without making much headway if I should or not. In the end, I weighed it against my core values, and the decision was clear. This was not the right opportunity for me. I come from a family that struggles with obesity. I love pizza but I do not eat it regularly because my genetics make it very easy for me to gain weight. I have to be careful! I told my cousin I was going to pass on the opportunity. This was in October or November of 2019, and in March of 2020, Covid-19 hit. I was informed that revenue went down drastically in the business and did not recover for quite some time. In the end, making the right decision for me was pretty simple when I weighed it against my core values, and it proved to be right for me. Even if Covid never hit, it still was not the right decision for me, my goals, and my future. What are your core values? Look at the accompanying list of core values and determine yours. Start by circling anyone that resonates with you, then narrow it down to 10, then 5, and finally 3. You will see those values will serve as a guiding beacon in your life, and they will make the journey easier and more pleasurable. If you would like a copy of the Core Values Assessment and a video explaining the process step by step, shoot me an email at shihanhaley@eliteforcemartialarts.com, and I will send it right over to you! What Makes Successful People Successful – Part 2
Last month we looked at five strategies and mindsets that successful people have that help them lead the field in their chosen areas. As I mentioned last month, my personal definition of success is waking up every day and liking the things I must do that day. I never want to wake up and dread what I need to do that day. When Maria Shriver was asked what success was to her, she said it was being available and having the time to be the best daughter, mother, and spouse she could be. To put it in perspective her father, Sargent Shriver, started the Peace Corps and her mother, Eunice Kennedy Shriver, started the Special Olympics. So, everyone’s definition of success is different. What is yours? What do you consider true success? Success Trait #6: They have an obsessive and constant pursuit of better There is an old Japanese term, Kaizen, that stands for Constant and Never-ending Improvement. They are constantly looking for new and better ways to do their jobs, achieve their goals, and make an impact. Author Darren Hardy teaches business owners to ask the bigger/easier question. How can we get bigger and do it easier? That thought process will get you to think, grow, and improve what you are doing to achieve better results, make more impact and do it with less effort. Success Trait #7: Steadfast consistency Successful people are incredibly consistent with their schedules, habits, and routines. In our martial arts schools we teach, “Habits we train are habits we gain.” Meaning, whatever habits you practice day in and day out will determine your level of success. Good habits are hard to develop and easy to live with while bad habits are easy to develop but hard to live with. Successful people are consistent with the hours they work, the days they read/study, and the days they exercise. Their daily routines are set in stone because they work and create great results. Success Trait #8: Power tribe Successful people are diligent about the company they keep. They make sure they are surrounded by people that are cooperative, positive, and supportive. There is no room for complainers, naysayers, and whiners with successful people. The late-great author, Charlie “Tremendous” Jones says, “You will be the same person in 5 years that you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.” What he is saying is the people you surround yourself with have a big impact on your level of success. If you hang around with successful people, you will become more successful. If you hang around with people who watch the news 24/7 and complain about it, you will become that too. Napoleon Hill introduced the concept of Mastermind groups in his book “Think and Grow Rich”. This is when a group of like-minded people get together and brainstorm ways for them all to do better and be more successful. This is a Power Tribe. Success Trait #9: Consummate learners Successful people make learning and growing a top priority. They understand the saying, “When the tree stops growing, it begins to die”. They are ferocious readers. As the saying goes, “All great leaders are great readers.” They also learn and grow when other people are filling their minds with garbage. For example, many successful people I know turn their cars into a “university on wheels”. They listen to audio programs/audiobooks that instruct and inspire them. The average American drives 12,000 miles per year. Experts say that if you turn driving time into learning time, you will get the equivalent of two semesters in college every year. That means that every four years you would be earning another advanced college degree. Successful people do just that! Success Trait #10: Unshakeable resolve Successful people are unyielding in the pursuit of their goals and dreams. Of course, they deal with challenges and obstacles, but to them, it is simply part of the process of achievement. They don’t get discouraged, angry, or distracted. They keep their eye on the prize. They focus on their target goal and the vision they have created, and they keep moving forward. Like Rocky Balboa said, “It’s not how hard you hit. It’s how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!” So true! There you have it! The ten traits of the ultra-successful. I hope you enjoyed these two articles and got inspired to take action and make your dreams and goals come to fruition. Success can be defined in a number of ways. True success is different from person to person. Some might include earning a certain amount of money or having a certain size house. Others may think success is being famous or influential. Freedom from monotonous or boring tasks could be considered success.
My person definition of success waking up every day and liking the things I must do that day. I don’t want to dread any of the activities in the day that lies ahead. Fortunately, most days I truly look forward to, and I get to do what I love for a living. What do you consider success? How would you define it? Recently, success mentor and best-selling author, Darren Hardy, laid out the top 10 traits of successful people. This month we will lay out the first 5 and next month we will lay out the second 5. Success Trait #1: Relentless Drive Successful people and top achievers have an insatiable appetite to win. They will put in hours of hard work, preparation, and planning to make sure they are ready to perform at their best when needed. The late, great Kobe Bryant had a legendary drive. His trainer talks about many times where Kobe would tell him to meet him at 5:00 in the morning to do some strength and conditioning work. When the trainer arrived, Kobe was drenched in sweat. He had been working out since 4:00 in the morning. After the strength and conditioning workout, Kobe told his trainer he was going to practice his jump shot and wouldn’t stop until he made 800 shots! After all that, Kobe went to practice with the team. That is relentless drive! Success Trait #2: Supersized Thinking By now most people know that the McDonald brothers founded McDonald’s restaurant. They came up with the “speedy service” system and had a very successful operation in California. Ray Kroc was a milk shake machine salesman and approached the McDonald brothers to buy his machines. When Kroc saw the operation, he knew this could be a worldwide business that would be massively successful. The McDonald brothers, on the other hand, preferred to keep tight control over their system and not expand the operation. After much pleading and negotiating, Kroc convinced the brothers to allow him to build the franchise to what it is today. Ray Kroc had a supersized vision and acted on it! Success Trait #3: They Find Massive Leverage Successful people find ways to make themselves act disciplined when they don’t want to. After all, they are human too! Former Navy Seal, author, and speaker, Jocko Willink wakes up at 4:30 every morning and posts a picture of his watch on Twitter and Instagram to show everyone that he continues to be disciplined by waking up early and working out. He has leverage on himself by having to post that picture early every morning, and his millions of followers expect it from him. That is massive leverage! Success Trait #4: They Maintain a Maniacal Focus Successful people always have their goals and objectives in their sights. Author and speaker, Brian Tracy has a famous quote, “Clarity is power!” Paul J. Meyer says, “If you are not making the progress you would like to make or are capable of making, it simply means your goals are not clearly defined.” Writing and re-writing your goals every day, creating vision boards, and posting your goals in writing where you will see them multiple times throughout your day are all great ways to keep your goals on the forefront of your mind. My good friend and best-selling author, Jeffrey Gitomer writes his goals on “Post It” notes and posts them on his bathroom mirror. When he achieves the goal, he moves it to his bedroom mirror. This way he is reminded of what goals he wants to achieve and what goals he has achieved. I bet that makes him feel pretty good! Success Trait #5: Unrelenting Resiliency Winston Churchill’s famous quote is, “Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never – in nothing, great or small, large, or petty – never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.” On March 17, 1990, WBC World Champion, Julio Cesar Chavez fought IBF World Champion, Meldrick Taylor. Chavez was unbeaten currently with a record of 68-0 with 55 KO’s. Taylor’s hand speed and superb footwork were too much for Chavez, and he was ahead on the scorecards heading into the final round. Chavez was being outpointed but stay resilient and continued to move forward throwing hard punches. Chavez never wavered or got discouraged, and with only 2 seconds left in the fight, he landed a right hand and knocked out Taylor. Most people would be mentally beaten and discouraged after losing virtually the entire fight. Not Chavez though. He stayed focused, resilient, and believed he could win the fight when most thought it was impossible. That is unrelenting resiliency! Stay tuned next month for the remaining 5 traits that make successful people successful! I started teaching martial arts when I was 15 years old. I knew when I started that job that this is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I loved the energy, the people, and all the life lessons that I learned.
My instructor always told his staff, “Don’t focus on where a student starts, focus on what they can become with time and training.” What he was saying was don’t focus on all the challenges a student has. There may be many. They may be overweight, uncoordinated, terribly shy, fearful, and more. Where they start is not really important. What is important is what they can become with coaching, encouragement, and training. It doesn’t matter what limitations they have, challenges they have to overcome, or any other issue. When we focus on what they are capable of, when we focus on their potential, it totally shifts your mindset. You start focusing on all their good attributes. You start to be a good-finder, and you see all their strengths and positive qualities that you can build upon. This mindset has helped us see so many transformations in our students. There have been hundred over the years. I remember a student who enrolled in about 2006, just a few years after we had opened. His father brought him in to become more confident, stronger, and more athletic. This young man was about 12 or 13 years old. His first class was rough! He was like a fish out of water. He had a hard time learning because he lacked coordination and was incredibly unconfident. His dad asked me point blank, “Do you think he will be able to do this?” I gave hm the same advice that my instructor gave me. Never focus on where they start, focus on what they can become. I assured his dad that it wasn’t going to happen in a day – that it would happen day by day with lots of training, encouragement, reminders, and repetition. The best thing about this kid was he wanted to be good. He showed up to the dojo 3 days per week with a great attitude. Little by little we saw his skill level improve, his confidence inched up month by month, and he was having fun. Five years later, this young man earned his Black Belt, and his parents were ecstatic! Their once shy, uncoordinated son became a Black Belt Champion with confidence that he could achieve any goal he set for himself. Years later, he is now a Police Officer with the Broward County Sherriff’s office, he is married, and has two kids. It’s easy to focus on people’s shortcoming and negative qualities. It’s easy to write people off in the beginning, however when you focus on what positive qualities you can build on, progress starts to happen. Year ago, the gold miners were searching for gold. They weren’t looking for dirt. That was easy. They stayed focused on finding the gold, and eventually they did. Sensei James Hons is a full-time instructor at Elite Force Martial Arts. He is currently in training for his 4th degree Black Belt, and in 2015 he became the US Open Grand Champion. It was his first time competing. When he started training with us, he was a shy, unconfident kid who would not look me in the eyes. He starred at the floor when talking to me. His dad was a very militant, hard-nosed person, and he wanted his son to introduce himself to others with confidence. I shared this philosophy with his dad, and now more than 13 years later, he could not be prouder of his son. Are you a parent? Employer? Boss? Leader? Coach? If so, you have the unique privilege to coach and influence people under you. You may have the next superstar in your organization. That person may not know it yet, but if you look closely enough, you will be able to see tons of untapped potential waiting to come out. I have always loved the book, “The Little Engine That Could”. That book is not just a kids’ book. It is a philosophy for life! Teach the people under you to think like that, encourage them, praise progress, gently correct errors, and you will be amazed with the results! ![]() Comparison is the Killer of Joy I first heard this quote when I went to the Growth Summit in 2018 with my good friend, Mark Moore. Rachel Hollis was one of the speakers. Rachel is a best-selling author, and one of her books entitled, “Girl, Stop Apologizing” has sold over 1.5 million copies. Rachel talked heavily about how comparing yourself to others can be detrimental to your success. She said, “Comparison is the killer of joy.” She is so right! Most people focus on what they don’t have. They see people on social media posting about buying a new house, getting married, going on these luxurious vacations, and going on and on about the great things in their life. And while a part of them is happy for other people’s success, another part gets jealous, frustrated, and depressed because they may not have those things. I have heard people say that scrolling Facebook or Instagram can make them feel sad because they immediately think about what they don’t have in their life. Melissa and I attend The Cross Church in Deerfield Beach. The other day, Pastor Tommy Boland, was talking about how there are two kinds of pride. The positive pride is feeling great about your family, your achievements, and the life you have built. The sin of pride is comparing yourself to others. He said it is wrong, and the constant comparisons can lead you down a dark road of depression and sadness. Let’s get this out on the table. Social media is a highlight reel of people’s lives. No one is living the perfect life free from frustrations, problems, and challenges. Do many people post about their problems? Of course not! They show all the great things! They show the amazing business they built, the new house they just bought, the new car they just got, the new, incredibly loving relationship they are in, etc. It is an overview of the positives in their life. Should we allow what others have or don’t have influence our self-esteem? Hell no! And while we know this logically, emotionally it can be hard. How can we live our best life and stop comparing ourselves and our lives to others? Here are a few ideas. Strategy #1: Focus on what you do have! Tony Robbins says when you ask better questions, you get better answers. So, ask yourself, “What do I love about my life? What am I most proud of? What do I have that I am incredibly grateful for?” Asking the right questions will get you to focus on all the blessings, victories, and achievements that you already have. Tony also says that progress is the key to happiness in life. When we are seeing and feeling progress in our lives, we feel happier and more joyful. Focus on the areas of your life that are moving in the right direction. I’m sure when you really look, you will see just how truly wealthy you already are! Strategy #2: Cut back on social media! I once read that you can either spend your time living your life, or you can waste your time by observing other people’ lives. I love social media because we can reach an enormous amount of people very quickly. It’s never been easier to stay in touch with friends, family members, and loved ones. As a business owner, Facebook and Instagram allow Elite Force Martial Arts to connect with people in our community for little money, and it brings new students in the front door, and it motivates old students to start training again. There are a ton of positives, however if you feel bad, sad, or depressed when scrolling because you are comparing your life to someone else’s, cut back immediately! Rachel Hollis told the crowd in Arizona that she posts on social media for business, but that is it. She does not scroll to see what others are up to. She said that when she did, she would naturally start comparing herself to others and that lead to intense anxiety, so she stopped. And for the record, she has over 1.6 million followers on Instagram. Strategy #3: Journal your feelings I don’t believe that ignoring certain recurring thoughts will make them go away. Maybe that works for some people, and if it does, good for you. I have found that writing down how I feel and the circumstance around my feelings helps me to clarify my emotional state and helps me to proactively deal with those emotions. Sometimes just putting the feelings on paper can feel like a weight has been lifted. Try it! I hope it works for you! ![]() I first heard this quote when I went to the Growth Summit in 2018 with my good friend, Mark Moore. Rachel Hollis was one of the speakers. Rachel is a best-selling author, and one of her books entitled, “Girl, Stop Apologizing” has sold over 1.5 million copies. Rachel talked heavily about how comparing yourself to others can be detrimental to your success. She said, “Comparison is the killer of joy.” She is so right! Most people focus on what they don’t have. They see people on social media posting about buying a new house, getting married, going on these luxurious vacations, and going on and on about the great things in their life. And while a part of them is happy for other people’s success, another part gets jealous, frustrated, and depressed because they may not have those things. I have heard people say that scrolling Facebook or Instagram can make them feel sad because they immediately think about what they don’t have in their life. Melissa and I attend The Cross Church in Deerfield Beach. The other day, Pastor Tommy Boland, was talking about how there are two kinds of pride. The positive pride is feeling great about your family, your achievements, and the life you have built. The sin of pride is comparing yourself to others. He said it is wrong, and the constant comparisons can lead you down a dark road of depression and sadness. Let’s get this out on the table. Social media is a highlight reel of people’s lives. No one is living the perfect life free from frustrations, problems, and challenges. Do many people post about their problems? Of course not! They show all the great things! They show the amazing business they built, the new house they just bought, the new car they just got, the new, incredibly loving relationship they are in, etc. It is an overview of the positives in their life. Should we allow what others have or don’t have influence our self-esteem? Hell no! And while we know this logically, emotionally it can be hard. How can we live our best life and stop comparing ourselves and our lives to others? Here are a few ideas. Strategy #1: Focus on what you do have! Tony Robbins says when you ask better questions, you get better answers. So, ask yourself, “What do I love about my life? What am I most proud of? What do I have that I am incredibly grateful for?” Asking the right questions will get you to focus on all the blessings, victories, and achievements that you already have. Tony also says that progress is the key to happiness in life. When we are seeing and feeling progress in our lives, we feel happier and more joyful. Focus on the areas of your life that are moving in the right direction. I’m sure when you really look, you will see just how truly wealthy you already are! Strategy #2: Cut back on social media! I once read that you can either spend your time living your life, or you can waste your time by observing other people’ lives. I love social media because we can reach an enormous amount of people very quickly. It’s never been easier to stay in touch with friends, family members, and loved ones. As a business owner, Facebook and Instagram allow Elite Force Martial Arts to connect with people in our community for little money, and it brings new students in the front door, and it motivates old students to start training again. There are a ton of positives, however if you feel bad, sad, or depressed when scrolling because you are comparing your life to someone else’s, cut back immediately! Rachel Hollis told the crowd in Arizona that she posts on social media for business, but that is it. She does not scroll to see what others are up to. She said that when she did, she would naturally start comparing herself to others and that lead to intense anxiety, so she stopped. And for the record, she has over 1.6 million followers on Instagram. Strategy #3: Journal your feelings I don’t believe that ignoring certain recurring thoughts will make them go away. Maybe that works for some people, and if it does, good for you. I have found that writing down how I feel and the circumstance around my feelings helps me to clarify my emotional state and helps me to proactively deal with those emotions. Sometimes just putting the feelings on paper can feel like a weight has been lifted. Try it! I hope it works for you! ![]() We are all hoping for a strong year in 2021. Last year caught us all off guard. Many people saw their incomes get reduced, businesses were shutdown, stress and anxiety increased, and, sadly, many people died. As we look forward into 2021, we know we have to be more focused, more disciplined, and have great clarity on our goals to win big. We will need to take massive action to realize the massive results we are all craving for. To reach that level of success, we will need an abundance of physical, mental, and emotional energy. We have all seen young children and puppies run around with a seemingly endless supply of energy, however it seems to dwindle as we get older. How do we get it back? How can we generate ample energy to achieve our goals and enjoy the process? Author Brendon Burchard conducted an in-depth study of high performers to determine how they reached their goals. He studied what actions they took and what strategies they utilized to optimize their health and energy. What he found were a few key actions that allowed these achievers to win in life and have plenty of energy left over to enjoy their hobbies, have ample family time, and enjoy the process. Strategy #1: Release Tension, Set Intention High performers have brief pauses in between activities to take a break, refocus their thoughts and recapture their energy, so they are able to work at a high level. They stop, close their eyes, breathe deeply, and focus on releasing any negativity they are feeling. They focus their thoughts on their next task and doing it with excellence and ease. They set a clear intention on their next activity and visualize themselves doing it at a world class level. Strategy #2: Bring the Joy Oprah Winfrey has a sign up in her office and her boardroom that says, “You are responsible for the energy you bring into this room.” What she is saying is, be intentional about being positive, optimistic, and happy. Top performers are intentional about being positive, friendly, and joyful. They don’t wait around and hope something happens to put them in a good mood. They intentionally bring the joy in everything they do. It’s no wonder everyone loves being around them! High performers are intentional about consuming positive information. They read inspirational books, listen to instructional podcasts, and surround themselves with good natured, successful, and happy people. What do they do when dealing with obstacles? They honor the struggle and continue to bring the joy! They ask themselves empowering questions that generate positive emotions. They set triggers to remind themselves to be positive and grateful. For example, every time they enter a room, they remind themselves to be the most joyful person in the room and to compliment someone else. Strategy #3: Optimize Your Health High performers set themselves up for success. They sleep 7-8 hours every night, and they drink plenty of water (a minimum of half your body weight in ounces). They also eat lots of greens and exercise every day. I’ve never met a person that said they wish they had less energy. I have heard people say they wish they had more. Try these strategies for a couple weeks and watch your energy, emotions, and attitude rise like the sun in the morning! Remember, massive action leads to massive results! New Year => New Habits => New/Better Results
2020 is in the rear-view mirror, and we are in high gear working to make 2021 a much better year. Most people that make New Year’s resolutions never actually make the changes or improvements. In fact, only 4% of people that set New Year’s resolutions stick to them and make the changes. Yet, we hear of some people making changes and achieve great results. I just read that New Year’s marks 4 years of sobriety for actress, Rumor Willis. Comedian and game show host, Drew Carrey, stopped drinking, started exercising, changed his diet, and lost nearly 100 pounds some years ago. So, how do some people do it while others continue to struggle and slide along laterally? Is it just doubling down on your will power? No way! There was a study about willpower. Two groups of people were given an unsolvable problem to work on. One group was given a plate of warm, freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, and were told not to eat them until after they finished the problem. The other group was given a plate of radishes and were told to not eat them until they were done with the problem. Needless to say, that wasn’t too hard to do! The group that had to have the willpower to not eat the chocolate chip cookies only worked on the problem for 9 minutes before giving up. The group that was told to not eat the plate of radishes worked on the problem for over 20 minutes. So, clearly will power tires you out and fades with time! The answer lies in changing your habits. Did you know that 90% of everything we do is based on our habits? Let’s talk about some strategies to change your habits this year so you can create better results, achieve your goals, and live the life you want to. Strategy #1: Make it Easy! If you want to start exercising first thing in the morning, set yourself up for success. Lay out your clothes and sneakers out the night before, so right when you get up, everything you need is right there. If you don’t do this, it’s too easy to talk yourself out of taking action. If you want to read more, layout your book on your reading chair so you can’t miss it. Do you want to practice guitar more frequently? Pull the guitar out of the case and set it up where you want to practice. We are all lazy! It’s human nature. Set yourself up for success in advance, and it will be much easier to follow through consistently. Strategy #2: Replace it! One of the best ways to change your habits is to swop a bad habit for another one. For example, you can swap out drinking soda with sparkling water. Most of the time, you want the bubbles in your drink. Do you want to stop snacking on chips late at night? Swop out the chips for carrot sticks. It’s the same crunching sensation! You can swop out drinking alcohol with sparkling water mixed with cranberry juice. Swop out beer for non-alcoholic beer. Strategy #3: Focus on Addition, Not Subtraction! When Montel Williams was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, he had to make changes to his diet. He had to give up foods that he loved, like steak and potatoes. Instead of focusing on what he could no longer have, he focused on what he got to add into his diet. He focused on adding in delicious salmon with a large, flavorful salad. He got excited about some of the new foods he got to eat that he liked. Focus on what you get to add in! Strategy #4: Bet on Yourself and Make the Penalties of Failure Sting! This is a powerful strategy. Find an accountability partner and tell them your goal. Then make a commitment that you will write a check to a person or an organization that you hate if you fail. Tell your accountability partner that they cannot listen to any stories or excuses of why you did not follow through. It’s all about results. If you hit the goal, you keep the money. If you fail, they send in your money to that person or organization that you hate! Make sure you give them the check at the beginning, so there is no backing out! 2021 can be an amazing year! Decide on your 3 big goals, identify what habits you need to add in, change, or eliminate, and watch the success and victories come rolling in! Happy new year! Shihan Craig Haley |
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